


Stay

by papermoon2719



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Break Up, F/M, Friends With Benefits, Heartbreak, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-14
Updated: 2017-11-14
Packaged: 2019-02-02 00:48:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12716331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/papermoon2719/pseuds/papermoon2719
Summary: Steve and the reader have been sleeping with each other for months, but he won't ever stay the night. Written for Caplan's Song Fic Challenge on Tumblr.





	Stay

_ All along it was a fever _

_ A cold sweat hot-headed believer _

_ I threw my hands in the air, said, "Show me something" _

_ He said, "If you dare, come a little closer" _

 

“You’re - ah - sure you want this?” Steve asks for the third time. I bite down on his neck again, leaning back to tug my shirt over my head.

“Steve, it almost sounds like  _ you _ don’t want this,” I answer, sitting back on his knees. His hands go to my hips, thumbs digging into the flesh.

“I do want this, I just want to make sure you do, too,” he reasons. I roll my eyes, guiding his hands up my back to the back strap of my bra.

“I’m positive, Steve. I want this… I want  _ you _ ,” I reply, tossing my bra onto the coffee table as soon as the clasp is open. Steve’s mouth goes to one nipple, tugging it between his teeth before he sucks on it sharply. 

It doesn’t take long for the rest of our clothes to join my shirt and bra, and even less time for Steve to be buried in me to the hilt. His thrusts are quick and deep, and it only takes a few thrusts before we’re both coming in tandem. 

He doesn’t stay after. Only gives me a soft peck on the lips before tugging his clothes back on. The couch smells like sex and Steve and I can’t help but hate myself after he leaves.

“Never again,” I mutter to myself, clearing my throat before forcing myself to take a long, hot shower.

 

_ Round and around and around and around we go _

_ Oh now, tell me now, tell me now, tell me now you know _

 

I’m finishing paperwork when I hear my phone chime. I look at it, my chest clenching when I see it’s Steve.

_ You free tonight? _

I sigh, looking at the monitor for a moment. I know I shouldn’t, but I answer him in less than a minute.

_ Yeah. I’ll be up in a few minutes _ .

I bite my lip, hating myself as I close out the mission report I’m working on and stand, my heels’ clicking annoying in my ears. I can’t help but feel giddy when I get into the elevator, and my heartbeat rises with each floor.

Steve’s in a towel when I get to his apartment, and we don’t talk at all when he pulls me in. His mouth is on mine, fevered, biting. I melt into him, not caring about what’s going to happen with this is over. He’s holding me now, loving on me now, and I can pretend that I’m his. 

 

_ Not really sure how to feel about it _

_ Something in the way you move _

_ Makes me feel like I can't live without you _

_ It takes me all the way _

_ I want you to stay _

 

“Can you stay tonight?” I ask, knowing the answer as soon as Steve tenses. It’s been the same every time I’ve asked.  _ No, I have insert-stupid-obligation-here tomorrow and I have to be up early. _ At least he’s not stupid enough to lie to me about it, since part of my job is knowing what he’s doing and when. 

“I have an early run planned with Sam in the morning, babe. Don’t want to wake you. I know how much you enjoy your beauty sleep,” he says, attempting to let out a dry laugh as he pulls away from me. I try to ignore the sudden lump in my throat as he stands, tugging on his boxer briefs, followed by his sweats.

I roll over, wrapping the sheets around myself, as he finishes dressing. As always, he pressed a soft kiss to my temple and leaves in silence. I wonder how long I’m going to keep doing this to myself.

 

_ It's not much of a life you're living _

_ It's not just something you take it's given _

 

“You okay, Y/N?”

I look up at Wanda, eyes taking a moment to adjust to her gaze over the bowl of cereal I’m playing with.

“Yeah, yeah,” I say softly, forcing a smile. She nods back, smiling back. I stand, not wanting the soggy mess my Cinnamon Life has turned into anymore. I dump it into the sink, rinsing my bowl before turning back around. Wanda isn’t watching me anymore, but I can feel her lurking just outside my mind. 

“You can look,” I whisper, tears stinging my eyes. Wanda nods once, standing and coming over to me. She touches my hand gently and I let Steve flood my mind. Her face grows more and more sad, feeling the pain I’m putting myself through.

“Oh, Y/N,” she whispers, pulling me into a hug. “I’m so sorry.”

I can’t help but cry against the side of her neck, knowing that I’m chasing someone who doesn’t want to be caught. 

 

_ Ooh, ooh, ooh, the reason I hold on _ __  
_ Ooh, ooh, ooh, 'cause I need this hole gone _ __  
_ Funny you're the broken one but I'm the only one who needed saving _ _  
_ __ 'Cause when you never see the light it's hard to know which one of us is caving

 

“I can’t do this anymore, Steve,” I whisper, tugging at the corner of my sheet. I don’t meet Steve’s eyes, but I can feel him staring at me.

“Can’t do what?” Steve asks, and I can tell in his voice he knows what’s coming.

“This… I… I feel like you’re using me and I can’t do this anymore,” I say, a little louder. I look up and his face is unreadable.

“Okay,” he answers after a moment, looking away to grab his clothes. I stare at his back as he starts tugging them on. I feel a painful spike of anger in my chest and grip the sheet harder.

“Seriously?” 

He pauses, looking at me over his shoulder. I want to slap the confused look off of his obscenely handsome face.

“You’re not even going to talk to me about this?” I snap, throwing the sheet back and tugging my panties on angrily. I start hunting for my shirt as he straightens.

“Talk about what, Y/N? Your feelings?” he shoots back. I can’t help the manic laugh that bubbles up from my chest.

“Wow, Steve. I never thought  _ you _ would have turned out just like all the rest of them,” I spit, tears filling my eyes. “All those guys you say don’t know how to act, acting like your morals are so much higher. America’s Golden Boy… More like America’s Fuckboy.”

Steve’s eyes narrow and he grabs his shirt, pulling it over his head. He reaches for his socks and I notice one of his shoes is on this side of the bed, so I pick it up and throw it at him. I know it’s an immature move, but my anger overthrows my reasoning skills. It hits him in the shoulder and he gives me a withering glare.

“Really? Throwing shoes?” he scolds, and it takes all I have not to vault myself across the bed and start tearing at him. 

“Get the _fuck_ out,” I snarl. Steve gives me one more look before turning on his heel. I can’t help the strangled sob that hits me as soon as I hear the door slam and I back up against my bedroom wall, sinking down it onto the floor.

“Miss. Y/L/N, are you in need of assistance?” I hear FRIDAY ask. I manage to choke out Wanda’s name, but I’m not sure FRIDAY actually understands me until I hear the door to my apartment open again, and I’m pulled against Wanda’s chest.

“Shhhh,” she soothes, running her hand over my head. I can feel her reaching into my mind, numbing some of the pain, and I can’t begin to express how grateful I am for it.

“I know, darling,” she whispers, rocking me gently. “I know.”


End file.
